Do I have to invite every child in my daughter's class to her birthday party?

I need etiquette help. She is in kindergarten and has been invited to numerous parties from her classmates. The problem is she has many friends and family outside the classroom also. The party can get pricey. Where do you draw the line without offending anyone?
Do I have to invite every child in my daughter's class to her birthday party?
Good question. Not only can this be pricey, but it is a dis-service to not teach our children moderation. One of the most important lessons in life is to learn not to get our feelings hurt and to not take things personally when we ourselves might not be invited to a party we thought we would or should have been.





It's a great opportunity to talk about sensitivity issues and explain that since we cannot invite everyone, we must be very careful not to talk about the party around others that could make them feel bad.





Your child will probably at some time be asked by an inquiring or maybe just plain bold child about why they weren't invited to their party. Help your child formulate a kind response in anticipation of this event.





Finally, you can help her other friends feels cared about by inviting them over before and after for play dates or a mini-party that doesn't revolve around the birthday celebration.





For instance: when our children were young, we didn't want them spending the night at others homes so we did a "Mini Sleepover". A friend or two would come over and have dinner and watch a movie all sprawled out on their sleeping bags. When the designated time arrived, the parents would pick up their child.





Best of luck and congradts. on your sensitivity to your child and others feelings!
Reply:hell no...you invite her closest friends unless you want the whole damn school at your house. Forget hurting peoples feelings, if u dont hurt their feelings, theyre going to hurt your wallet.
Reply:only invite who you want, but the rule here is the invitations can not be passed out in school if the whole class isn't invited, instead parents usually just call the parents who's kids are invited and the other kids don't feel left out.
Reply:You do not have to invite everyone in the class to the party...but if you are not DO NOT send the invites to shcool with her. Send them in the mail instead that way the other kids do not feel left out.
Reply:If not everyone in the class is invited, you need to deliver the invitations to their homes or mail them. Do not hand them out at school. That is the proper way. You are not obligated to invite everyone. Just mail or hand deliver to the home of the child that is invited. Have Fun!
Reply:if you can't invite whole class don't send invitations to school mail them
Reply:just invite the one's that she talks to on a regular basis.
Reply:chances are that people are going to be offend no matter what you do. invite the people that your daughter wants to have there. no need to invite everyone.
Reply:okay tell your child that she can only invite say 5 kids from her class (or however many you want) but make sure she gets to pick make cute lil cards or buy them and give them to her and tell her make sure she choices the RIGHT ppl. for it....nobody can get offended just b/c she cant give everyone one!!...good luck and HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! (to your child)
Reply:Get the mailer list from the school and send the invitations directly to the kids you want to invite. This will help to "shield" those who did not get invited from knowing they were not invited in the first place.
Reply:If you don't invite every child in the class, don't hand out invitations in school. Mail them instead. Otherwise some of the kids will feel bad and left out.
Reply:I'm going to take the other side of the fence ... how would your child feel if they weren't invited to a party that some of the kids were talking about....a party for just the class with a few frills can inexpensive... most schools are beginning to only allow you to pass invitations out if you have one for each student....
Reply:It's really hard to draw the line at this age - you're going to end up with hurt feelings somewhere along the line. If you can't invite everyone in the class, send the invites thru regular mail, and I would at least invite all the girls to the party. (It's easier to separate them by gender.)





The other thing to consider - what about having a small birthday party with her classmates, and then later on taking her closest non-school friends out for pizza one night separately, and then just having family for cake one night? This way, no one is really excluded and you're not breaking the bank.
Reply:I would suggest asking the teacher to do a classroom party for her school friends and just bring in juice and cupcakes etc.
Reply:To answer your question, no, you do not have to invite every child in your daughter's class to her birthday party. Though whatever you do, do not send invitations to the children via your own child. If you want a few of her friends from the class to come then let her know that you will invite the friends she chooses (you might want to give her a limit on how many she can invite). Then just mail the invitations out. As long as you conduct all your actions outside of the school, there shouldn't be any interference by the teacher or school. I know it sounds a bit shady and all, but there is nothing that says you have to spend money on someone else's children.
Reply:I don't think that you need to invite everyone from her class. Maybe you could send cupcake or something to school on Friday so she can celebrate with the kids there. Then she can invite just a few that she plays with the most to her party outside of school.
Reply:Invite her closet friends or who she wants.


do not sent the invitations in school if you are not inviting everyone. Or you can do like a gymnastics party or pool party where it is one set price for up to 25 kids
Reply:Hi! I agree with the answers about sending the invitations out if you are not going to invite the whole class. In our family, a general rule of thumb is to only invite the number of kids that you child is turning. So, if she is turning 5, invite 5. This has worked well with both of my kids, and now that my oldest is 9, she has only a few close friends that she invites. As they get older, they will invite less. Hope this helps!
Reply:no only invite who your child wants to.
Reply:No. You make the guest list, you call the shots, only invite the girls from class she really plays with a lot. Just DON'T hand out the invites at school--mail them to their homes, and use this opportunity to teach some etiquette to your daughter about not discussing the party at school since not all are invited. She is old enough to understand this.
Reply:If you are not inviting the whole class which I don't think that you are required to do. ( Would you want people that you didnt necessarily like going to your birthday?) Get the mailing addresses of children in the class and mail them out. Do not have her hand out invites to just some of the children, this could create problems. Have your daughter not talk about the party too much at school but if the subject comes up and someone has hurt feelings just explain that you had to limit the invites because you have a lot of outside friends and family.
Reply:you would lose your mind if you had all thoes kids at her party ,i wouldn't worry about it ask her who she wants and invite them and leave it at that any one who has a problem with it isn't worth your time anyway
Reply:Well as a mom of 4 boys, we have one in kindergarden, one in first and one in second. You draw the line wherever you feel comfortable. At least once a week one of the kids is bringing home an invitation to a party. It gets spendy, 10$ per child each week HA! Anyways i recently made my rule up and that is this. If i know the kid, or the parents ( as i know most lol because i am a room mother) they can go, IF its a girl party they dont go, as we have boys and its just easier.


People have gotten into the wrong idea on parties, they take them to pizza places, or swimming parties around here and it gets to be to much running, every weekend booked and its not cheap. They want their child to get as many gifts as possible and blah blah blah. Draw the line where you feel like drawing and DONT feel bad at all!!!!
Reply:Even if you do invite them all, more then likely some wont show. So put RSVP on the invites. As well as put on the ones to the class that parent should remain present with the child at all times. I know that sounds kinda crass, but seriously that will drop the number of classmates that attend.


I have been one of them moms that will not drop off a child at a birthday party, but some moms seem fine with that. So put that on the invite and see what happens. Trust me, the number will drop down!


Good Luck, and Happy Birthday to the birthday Girl!!!
Reply:If you send the invitations TO school with her then you have to invite everyone...it is very rude, crass and tacky to send invitiatons to school and leave out some of the kids. For a five year old you want to limit the guests to about 10 at the most. Pick 10 of the closet and leave it at that..But do NOT sent the invitations to school.
Reply:Only invite her closest friends like say its a small girls party or something...and give the invitations to the parents dont let her give them out at school because then other kids will feel bad if they arent invited. Good luck
Reply:Most teachers will not let the children pass out anything without having one for each person.. At your daughters age kids will be hurt easy.





You have a few options-


1. Do you know the parents-after school YOU pass out the invites..


2. Do 2 parties-


3.State RSVP a must





Now you say your child has been invited to a few class parties- How many other children have shown up?


In the past if there has been 25 kids in my childs class only about 5-6 will show up..


What about a class party? Then a family party?


Wish I could help you better..


First ask the teacher what the rule is on passing out invites..


Then go from there- You have a budget set for your childs b-day after a few years I had to cut family out of the big party and do a family dinner setting.. Its never easy!
Reply:you only need invite tose your daughter really wants there and no one else its not bad manners its just life and I doubt anyone will get upset
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