How not to invite children to our wedding reception ?

We are getting married in July. The invitations are being put together at the moment. The problem we have is that we have a number of cousins we wish to invite, however, they have children and we do not wish to invite them.





It is not that we have anything against their children, it is just we wish to keep our wedding to our budget.





A relative suggested we put a letter in the invitation explaining this, but we are finding it hard to get the working correct, so as not to offend them.





Does anyone have any ideas how we could word it ?





Thanks





GW
How not to invite children to our wedding reception ?
Say it is adult themed and not appropriate for children to be present.............





Or say children are welcome to the daytime events but not the evening reception
Reply:just say sorry but we are not inviting children
Reply:personally i think its mean not to invite children, plus alot of your family might not be able ot afford a babysitter or be at your wedding very long if they dont bring their children along, i mean would you leave your children all day long, especially if some people have to pay for a sitter!!


but best way to put it is to address the invitation to the people invited and add a little note that you cannot afford fot their children to come





But you saying you cannot affrord to pay for the children surely the place you are having your reception can through in kids for free. where me and my fiance are getting married due to the amount of peole invited they are letting the children for free,


plus surely when you were doing your wedding list must of realised that relatives had kids!!! goodluck
Reply:when addressing the envelope just put to Mr. %26amp; Mrs. ------- when I get an invitation just adressed to me and my husband, i know that my son is not invited. usually if kids are invited the invitation will say Mr. %26amp; Mrs. ----- %26amp; Family. as for writing a letter, I don't know but maybe you can add at the bottom of your invitation adult only. hoped this helped
Reply:I think putting the : ADULT ONLY OCCASION is the best idea....





whatever you and your fiance' think that will be best for your wedding day (and your pockets) then go for it.....





good luck and have fun!
Reply:That is going to be a difficult one as people may start





you could just put





"Im really sorry, i dont mean no offence, but the wedding reception invitation is limited to adults only, we are trying to keep our wedding to a budget and we would really appreciate it if you respect this for our big day"





hope it goes well
Reply:Its actually very straight forward. Think of how much the meal alone costs ......


Now write your invitations and just name the people you are inviting on it. I dont mean to sound harsh but people will appreciate you just being straight with them. Most people will appreciate the cost involved anyway - if anyone is cheeky enough to say something just explain it to them.
Reply:The easiest way is to address the outer envelopes to the parents, and write the parents name's on the inner envelopes. They might get the hint that their kids aren't invited. On the reception card, you could put "Adult-only reception," but I think that's kind of tacky.





However, and you don't mention this so maybe I'm wrong, you can't not invite your cousin's kids but invite other people's kids. Either everyone's kids come, or none of them can come.
Reply:Hold the reception at a hotel that doesn't allow kids like(Sandals) or write a age limit on the invitations
Reply:I would just make the wording very sincere and even apologetic, say you don't mean to hurt or offend anyone, but you truly can't invite absolutely everyone you'd want to, due to budget constraints. I personally wouldn't want children at my wedding for no other reason than that I think their behaviour would ruin it unless they were exceptionally well behaved. Some people will be upset at their offspring not being wanted, whatever you say - and don't forget it's entirely possible that some people might ignore what you say and bring their children along anyway.





I noticed one person said there was no reason for children not to attend the ceremony - that's the very time I wouldn't want them there. I've attended weddings where children have banged hymn books on the pews throughout, tossed hymnbooks in the air repeatedly, run up and down the aisle, run round and round the couple and the priest whilst they were saying their vows. When I married, my brother warned me that a. he and his wife wouldn't attend my wedding unless their daughter, then aged four, came too, and b. if she came, I "would have to accept her behaviour whatever that was, because that's what four year olds are like." So we didn't invite them at all and they wondered why! It's not a majority opinion that children ought to be invited to weddings whatever the feelings of the couple involved (??!!!!!!) however I have found it a majority opinion that parents who think like that "are disgusting and should be ashamed of themselves."
Reply:Hmmmm....it's a tricky one. Are you not inviting kids to the ceremony or just not to the celebrations afterwards? I can't see why not to the ceremony but I can totally see why not to the celebrations afterwards. I have a 4yr old and under no circumstances would I take him to an evening reception. I just wouldn't want to upset his evening routine. Plus I know if I did, and he got tired, he'd be hellish to deal with. And I don't want that for me or for the wedding party.


I've had to decline a few evening receptions for that reason, whether or not my son was mentioned on the invitation. As a pointer, if my son was not mentioned on the invitation, I would take that to mean he wasn't invited! But I wouldn't be upset about it. After all, the wedding day is YOUR day. If I don't get upset that my son can't attend either because he's not invited or because of my own reasons, then I don't expect the invitor to get upset if I decline.


I think maybe talk to them beforehand and just say you're ever so sorry but you can only afford for the adults to attend and that you want them to really enjoy themselves without having to worry about running around after the children. Wording wise, maybe even put a handwritten note in to the same effect. To be honest, those that are worthy of your invite and who know you well enough should not be offended. Budget wise, it might not be possible, but could you build in a little kinda souvenir for the kids (not that kids would miss it, but it might appease the parents more)! Something like a little piece of the cake %26amp; a balloon.





It's your day, don't sweat it...don't worry about what others think...just go enjoy it ...and good luck!
Reply:on the invitations put something like, adult only reception to follow wedding. good luck, and congrats.
Reply:put something like this:





We hope to see you at our Wedding, please note this is an adult afffair, there will be achiol so please no children.





thanks,


The Bride and Groom
Reply:Just put the adults' names on the invitations. Later, ring them up and explain that the numbers would just get out of hand if everyone brought their children - and you can't ask one and not another, etc. Hopefully, they will understand. Because it certainly is a fact that children sometimes do get tired and cranky and difficult at wedding receptions and it spoils the occasion for people around them.
Reply:THe standard way to do this is simply write:


"No children please." or "Adults Only" on the invites or rsvp card. You could also put a small card in the envlope stating this. You don't need to explain..ITS YOUR WEDDING and its a very common practice to not invite children.
Reply:just say adult reception on the reply cards and i would think anyone with a brain would realize that means no kids
Reply:You could just put, "Please do not bring any children", on the wedding invitation. I am sure the parents will understand.
Reply:most parents, including myself, are happy to go to weddings without their children and will be happy with your decision. Why not phone all parents and explain .A written message is always open to interpretation.
Reply:We said no kids at our wedding by word of mouth we just sat and explained that it wasn`t there kids we didn`t want there but as it was limited seating we had to make a hard choice - In our case it was cr*p we didn`t like there kids they are rude, swear and misbehave. they couple in question never turned up thinking that we were snubbing them so we got to invite all the other kids any way


good luck
Reply:Due to reasons, we will not be allowing children to the reception.





Over 18 only.





Due to financial reasons will not be allowing children to attend the reception.
Reply:I had the same issue...finally we just decided to put at the bottom of the invitation... "Adult only reception" that way if need be..the kids could go to the wedding but parents would know theey need a sitter for the reception...most people understand.
Reply:Most people don't invite children to the reception, I am not. let them know this is a time for you guys to celebrate and to make it a date night for them as well. If your cousins want to attend your wedding they can find a baby sitter. This is your day and you need to not feel guilty for having an event that wouldn't be appropriate for children. I also had a friend who paid a baby sitter to come to her wedding and took the kids into another room, all the parents chipped in to pay the sitter. Either way, be honest and jsut let them know this is an event for those 18+ for budget purposes.
Reply:I think those who suggested you put "Adults only please" are right, and you could mention about the alcohol. I hope it goes well for you, and that your family is understanding
Reply:I guess your cousins would need to pay for baby sitting if the children came anyway. It would be cheaper all round if they shared supervision. If there are enough why not organise a creche or suitable entertainment for the kids, and give your cousins the options of sharing the costs if they prefer that option.
Reply:Ooh, tough one. Isn't it crap that when you try to organise the best day of your life you have to consider the feelings of people you only ever see once in a blue moon?
Reply:If most people had an invite without the childrens' names on, I think they would take it for granted that children are not invited. However, you do need to make sure and simply say something like:





We are sorry that children cannot join in our special day. I am sure that you all understand that with so many we would like to invite, our budget will not cope. Thank you.
Reply:Tell them that the venue has only limited capacity and that only the people named on the invitation can attend. That makes it seem like a fire safety issue and not your choice.
Reply:Just state on there its an adults only affair ....


kids are a pain in the ar*e at such parties ... i have 3 boys myself and i find it hard work taking them to such events ... i usually get a sitter in .... i am sure that they would be grateful for a night off from their own kids !!
Reply:If i got invited to a wedding without my kids,i wouldn,t beable to go,couldn,t get a babysitter.Your family might find this a bit of a problem too.
Reply:There is no way to do this without being offensive and rude, as that is what it is. Families should celebrate at weddings together. Were we to get a wedding invitation that excluded children, we would not be attending. I guess you haven't read enough similar questions on Answers lately to see that's a majority opinion - children should never be excluded from attending weddings, both the ceremony and reception. You adjust your budget accordingly.
Reply:thats hard u want people to go or stay away if u dont invite children then ur have less people at the wedding reception if u invite the children ur have a great day and most people will come